Starting of "no call" again???

Just as i had suspected. Today will be the starting of "no call" again. Was just hoping that maybe even just 10mins will be good. But, no.

Actually, I don't know if i should be happy today. I met her. But the situation and the conversations prelude the meeting, i'm not really sure if it's a good meeting. I think, she had no intention of meeting me in the 1st place. It really wasn't until i had said something like "is it everything i do also not good enough?", before she wanted to meet me. Under this circumstances, i didn't wanna let her know where i was going. She said i still did not understand her. How the hell am i going to understand her, even if i'm really trying very hard, if she doesn't want to??? It wasn't after she wrote on msn that "i want to.....see/meet u", then i told her my location. But i still do not know if it's because she really wanted to see me, or because of the sentence i just told her. Is it because she felt she got the obligation to meet me cause i had been there for a few hours? Or is it that she felt happy to see me too, but just won't show it? I don't know. Much as i wanted to really know her more, she seem to keep me away more.

The meeting was quite ok. We went for branch, yeah should be the correct word to use as it's around 4pm. We did talk, and i was happy. But i really don't know about her. Walked to "Shop N Save" near her place, as her mum wanted her to buy some vegetables. During the whole journey from her house to the supermarket, back to her house, my hand brushed hers a couple of times. I really wanted to try holding, but i know, she will definitely move away.

Night came. I was smsing her while walking money. I believe, if i didn't start the sms, she will not sms me. Realize that her name in my contact list had changed to "her name". I was disappointed when i saw that. Had wanted to asked her is it really a must to make everything so clear cut, even the name in the contact list, you need to change? But no. I didn't do that. Not worth it. So just asked normally, did she changed the name. Replied "No. Never". I admit, i did not really believe it as the name won't changed by itself. So i just replied that the phone won't be so intelligent enough to change by itself. I don't know why she seem so agitated and said why i don't believe that she didn't change it. Immediately, she said that she's tired, wanna sleep. Ok, i believed that she's tired, but i also think that there's just an element of unhappiness and she didn't wanna carry on the conversation. Nonetheless, i told myself, maybe there's just some misunderstanding somewhere. If she said she didn't change the name, then ok, I'll just change it back.

Everyday i'm thinking the same thing. She said i didn't understand her, always only thinking of what i think she's thinking and always wanted her to do what i think only. But has she try to let me know what she's thinking? Has she tried to allow me to understand her?